On 19th March 2020, I said goodbye to my fiancée Laura, not knowing what would happen with coronavirus, but knowing that I was sending her somewhere that she could be safe and supported with her family in Canada when the borders shut down. This began a long process of worrying about safety of travel due to coronavirus and sorting out a visa with the UK home office which for us was thankfully, uncomplicated. I was checking UK visa messaging boards constantly to see when the visa application centres would open in Toronto, eventually noticing that someone had managed to get an appointment and calling Laura at 4am her time to let her know that she needed to get an appointment NOW!
We have been utterly blessed to have so much love and support from her family in Canada for our relationship, her desire to be a parent to my biological children and to include me in her family.
When I started to fully accept myself and decide to live my life to the fullest in my late 20s, unfortunately with an experience of family estrangement due my same sex relationship which led to me being very isolated for a long time. I found so much acceptance and love in Scotland which is helped me find acceptance and love for myself. Without the many, many affirming experiences that I have had in Scotland encouraging me to be myself my life would have been very difficult. This is a note which Laura left for me helped me find so much strength and resilience through a difficult time. Whenever I feel down about my own family situation, Laura reminds me that I do have a family in her, my kids, and her family in Canada which is an amazing gift that this relationship has given to me. In the future we will have the choice to live in either Canada or the UK, two countries that have enabled us to be ourselves.
The truth is, finding a family who loves you when your own family cannot accept you is extremely difficult. For people who live in countries where their sexuality or gender identity is not accepted, this is near impossible. People see the UK as being a safe place but obtaining a right to remain here is very challenging for asylum seekers and it is a long process. During this process they face challenges in finding accommodation where they will not be harassed or abused but also to create a support system from scratch. Not everyone in the LGBT+ community is lucky enough to be born with a supportive family or somewhere that it's safe to be themselves like in the UK or Canada.
This is why it's so important for us to raise money for Micro-Rainbow instead of asking for wedding gifts. A little can go a very long way.
Thanks for reading this post, it's really appreciated.
If you'd like to donate to Victoria and Laura's wedding fundraiser for Micro-Rainbow,
you can do so here. 
